I have a jerk in my life. This person wants to be mean to me. This person will try and make me feel bad, embarrassed, not worthy, unlikable, and not a part of the group. That is what a jerk is, right? Someone who is trying to be mean, someone who is trying to hurt your feelings. Most of the time Jerks are pretty good at what they do, they are usually well practiced in the art of jerkery, the chances that you are the only person they have ever treated like this is very slim.
Yes, I will get to the point, because we all know to well what a jerk is. Knowing what a jerk is, is half the battle. A jerk is trying to magnify our own weakness and insecurity. If this person would say and do things that we knew were not true that would take this jerk from a malicious a$$ to a pathetic crazy person. This would shift the view immediately from your problem to their problem. For instance if a person was making hurtful jokes about my physical body; being over weight or ugly, it would not bother me at all because I do not feel that way about my body in the slightest. The person in question would become a little imbalanced in my eyes, but not a jerk because I do not believe these things myself. Now if this person would say the same things to someone who felt badly about their physical body this person is no longer crazy and is now a jerk.
Getting to the point, how to stop a jerk. Acknowledge how this person makes you feel. Insecure about your body? Not capable of doing your job? Low confidence or self esteem? Embarrassed? Chances are that you have had these feelings about yourself way before this person came along he(she) has just brought them to the surface. It is time to understand that your feelings are your own, no one else can have power over them (unless you allow it). Take this jerk as a opportunity to get over whatever negative feelings that you have within yourself. Find your confidence wherever it was lacking. This jerk has changed from someone who was picking on you (making you a victim) to an opportunity for you to change the way you feel about yourself (putting you back in control and making him(her) crazy).
I want to say thank you to my jerk, you have shown me areas in my life that I would like to improve. I am in control of what I feel.